I don't know what it is but lately I've been feeling a little lost direction-wise. I just don't have any motivation to blog anything. I think it is just that I have so much going on that I don't have time to dig down and sort out how I feel about it. I'm in the season of just DOING. Just putting one foot in front of the other and getting it done.
I'm feeling mostly healed up from surgery. My belly button will never be the same. This was my third Laproscopic surgery. The ole belly button just isn't coming back from this one. The only issue I'm having really is just exhaustion. I am so very very tired. So tired that I feel like I can't function in the afternoon. And I know that because of the surgery there are hormonal changes happening so I'm certain that I'm just feeling those changes and it will all work out. Plus a lot of my pain was being caused by scar tissue from my appendix. I guess that it is probably for the best that at the time I didn't understand the severity of my infection. I nearly died twice because of my appendix. I'm lucky to be here with my family and I'm not taking that for granted.
I'm just ready to get moved and overwhelmed with all the things that need done to make that happen. Plus the holidays are thrown in there as well as a very strong-willed 5 month old and Oh yeah, I am schooling my son. He's off right now until after Thanksgiving mainly because I packed his books and we'll be in the car for 4 days.
I really hope that after the holidays we'll be able to find a home and get moved and get ourselves settled and on with life as we know it. I'm so HAPPY we're moving back to Indianapolis. I think it is the perfect place for us to call home. I've put my foot down and declared to Jamie that this is it for the foreseeable future. We're not leaving Indy unless they throw us out. Our kids need a home. We need to build friendships we can keep. I'm so tired of always giving up things and people like they are disposable. Our whole life has been disposable. No more of that!
I feel good about the direction our life is going. I feel good about the direction we'll be headed next weekend. I'm a little lost for direction of this blog but it will come. I'm so overwhelmed with life right now that reporting on it is kind of a luxury I don't have time to enjoy!
For now, we are headed East! That is the best direction of all!
Yeah... I know a little of what you are talking about. You know how it was for me when I was leaving... I only got to see you for that quick few minutes and NONE right before I left. I hated it but it's like you said.. you are on that path of just doing. Doing things to go, doing the things you actually liked out there, doing the present things that are normal but don't have time. I feel for you!! BUT you did just have surgery AND your body knows it. So, take what ever "easy" you can. I'm so happy for you that you are going back to Indy. You are going to do well there!! I can't wait for springtime and your new posts about the flowers and the new home and getting settled. It WILL be here... (not soon enough).
ReplyDeleteIt's hard being in a state of flux - not really "here" and not quite "there". Remember to breathe and rest when you feel too overwhelmed. {{{Hugs}}}
ReplyDelete