I haven't been the world's best Mom, wife, farmer, housekeeper....anything today. I've just been. I think it's a case of the post-holiday-post-vacation blahs. We extended our holidays to include this little vacation we gave Nicholas. We came home last night and now, it is just over. The lights, glitter, anticipation and fun. It is back to reality and school and Monday suppers.
In some ways, I'm glad for the routine and the plan. I thought I'd be ready. I thought I'd want to just dig in and move forward with normal. Then I realized that I have NO IDEA what that looks like around here. We haven't been in this house during "normal" times yet. We had moving in, then Deer season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Vacation. We have yet to simply have, "monday." I'm not even counting today because today is "Monday after vacation."
And today, I've sort of sat in a stuper. Not sure where to go or what to do. My brain is foggy. There is so MUCH to do that I don't even know where to how to start. I think I probably need to start with the grocery store. With plans for everyday meals. And then I should probably look to school. See where we are and what we should do.
And then simply put one foot in front of the other and MOVE. I have a little girl that needs hugs and tea parties. A teenager finding himself. One day he is confident, the next fraught with uncertainties. And always needing a shoulder to lean on and an understanding ear to HEAR him.
There's a farm that needs MAKING. A blank slate ready for a plan. For love. There's a cold wind blowing outside and a storm coming in. A good time to stay in and make the plans and tend the family and the home. And to wake myself up from the glittery Holiday dreams. To wake up in my reality. My beautiful reality. Time to step cautiously into our life here. To start making this our home. To bring life to this land and to wake up our hearts and minds to the possibilities we have here.
And maybe make a meatloaf. On a Tuesday.
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