Funk...

I'm just about sick to death of this weather. Actually, I've been in a real funk the last couple days anyway. It just always seems there is never enough time or money to do the things we want to do. Sometimes I think we are the eternal optimists. We're always dead certain that it is going to get better. Sometimes I think we just live to get to that next pay! Wishing our days and our lives away. Frankly, that stinks.

But that is just me complaining because I am a grump this week. No rhyme or reason to it really. Little irritants that start to wear you down after a while. We need a fence. We need a life. We need grass in the front yard. We're the only house on the cul-de-sac with nothing but weeds. It's not pretty. I'm thinking they didn't do a whole lot of yard maintenance in the previous years.

In a perfect world, I'd like to take a little of the best of the places we've lived and put it here. The neighborhood we lived in WV where we had tons of friends and everyone was so friendly and nice. The ease of life in Utah where there was light rail, heavy rail, rapid bus transit so that we didn't HAVE to have two car payments. That kind of thing.

I do realize I complain about the same old things year after year. I guess I have a hard time letting go of dreams. I'm stubborn like that. We gave up so many of our dreams recently. Circumstances beyond our control. And I've just had a real hard time accepting the new reality. And letting go.

It's a flaw of mine and one I need to work out. I don't want to be the person who never dreams of anything better. The person who is afraid to try anything new or step out on a limb. But I have to learn how to let go. I'm 40 and the time for big dreams is passing me by. I've got kids to raise and a life to try to make. A couple days in a funk and I'll be ready to slip back into optimistic mode and get that life going.