Thankful in the end....

I think the winter blahs must be setting in. It just sort of feels like too much trouble to get up and get dressed and be a productive person today. A cup of coffee will probably help. I just look around and feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Doing the same laundry, making the same bed, cooking the same dinner, washing the same dishes all just so I can do it all again tomorrow. Oh, I'm not complaining. I don't mind the work. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. Nothing that some fresh air, sunshine and a warm breeze wouldn't fix. I can already see the deck with potted flowers and toddler toys, lunch-time picnics with the kids, sandals, sunscreen and a busy swing set. It's all good.

But, it is still a long way off until the sun shines and the weather warms. Maybe I should move to a milder climate? Oh I kid! It's not the winter that is the problem. The work doesn't change just because the weather warms. I am just in a mood. One that shall pass. Normally I find what I do around here very fulfilling and get great joy from it. There are just some days that are harder than others. And it is usually my own fault. I let things go, they get backed up, I get overwhelmed and then before you know it, it feels like too much to get up and get it done!

But now, I've had a cup of coffee and a few minutes to think. I'm feeling better. The kids will wake up, we'll get breakfast, start school, work on laundry and the day will go on. I think I'll make some plans to redecorate some rooms. I want to give Sarah a "little girl" room. What she has now is "baby functional." She's starting to play in there more, do more with her babies and playing pretend. And our room. Except for moving it, our room has been the same for 4 years. Same comforter, shams, curtains. I'm rather tired of it all. I think some redecorating is in order around here.

And you know what, I think we'll grill some burgers tomorrow. I'll make some baked beans and macaroni salad and send Jamie out in the cold to man the grill. I'd do it tonight but the gas tank needs exchanged. I think next time I go to the store I'll pick up some fresh flowers, too. Something to brighten the mood and liven up the table.

I'm thankful that I don't suffer from real depression. A few minutes every once in a while of feeling like getting up and facing the day are too much can be cathartic. Feeling that way all the time would be like living in a nightmare. I'm thankful to whatever part of my brain that snaps me back from the darkness. So, I'm going to go fix my hair, put on a little makeup, drag the laundry to the basement, start breakfast for the kids and move on with my day.

And thank the void for listening.