I'm turning 40 in under a month. It's interesting. On one hand I'm in disbelief. I don't feel grown up enough to be 40. I don't have the things I thought I would at 40. My life is far more blessed and interesting than I probably have a right to. But there is a part of me that feels, no, that KNOWS 40 is going to be my year. I'm just sure of it. I'm going to come into who I am. Going to take stock. Change and grow.
And we are doing the same as a family. We change and grow every single day. And now we are also looking to our future. Toward our long-term goals. Not what is just good "enough." At what is GOOD. What is right for us. We are learning and growing. Maturing even. Realizing that adventures are big and small and scary and wonderful. Nothing happens if you don't pull yourself up, pop some Advil and dig in and make it happen. Sitting and waiting? That gets you nothing but lost moments. And believe me when I tell you that our life is full of lost moments. Maturing means realizing we don't always get exactly what we think we need. We don't always end up being where we think we belong. And that we have to make our life in within the confines we have been given. However, we can decide to some extent how that life will look.
We're thinking of having a small adventure. Nothing major. We're not moving across the country or selling all our earthly possessions and living in an RV. Though that appeals to both of us, if you want honesty. It's a small adventure. It isn't overly risky. It does require that we really think about what we want for our future. We have to decide how we picture the rest of our life together as a family and even after the kids have grown and flown. *whimper*
We can't go running off to the mountains with no job and no future. Jamie's job is here. We're making connections here. We can decide, however, our life as it is right now, isn't suiting us. This suburb. This house. This situation. And we can look at what we need to do to change that. We can still mold that dream. We can still HAVE that dream. First, however, we have to FIND that dream. Second, we have to make some changes and sacrifices to make all that happen.
I'm excited and scared. Eager and excited. And I can't wait to share the details with everyone I know. As soon as we figure it all out. In the mean time, the fun is in the dreaming and the details have to be worked out one at a time.
Going to be an interesting ride!
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