Taking back our todays....

I'm just sitting here in the middle of chaos. We aren't quite moved into our new house and we aren't quite living in the old house. We are somewhere in between. The kids are off in West Virginia. Jamie and I are running on fumes and sheer will. Moving this time seems so HARD. So much harder. I think we're just tired. Just so tired of moving. I'm so tired of giving stuff away. Leaving things behind. I'm so happy we're putting down some roots.

Mostly I'm just glad that once the move is over, our stuff is in our new house, the old house has been cleaned and inspected and turned over that we'll be done. That our life can move on. Our family can get back to living and being and doing together. This summer has been a mess of crisis and separation. Emotions have run so high. Between joy and disappointment. Excitement and dread. Our bodies are tired. Our minds are wrung out and our wallets are empty. We have forfieted so many of our weekends in the past few years to moving, thinking about moving, looking for a place to move, researching a move and exploring the idea of moving. And I'm so tired from it.

I have come to realize as I'm packing and missing my children that time, she goes too fast. My little baby is 2 already. She's walking and talking and arguing. And I've missed her hugs and her brushing at my hair and holding my hand. And my boy, my sweet precious boy is growing up. It's time for him to explore more independence and time for him to have a real voice in his future. And I miss them. I miss just being able to see them and talk to them and steal a hug when they are being still. I just miss having the time and the routine of our lives. I know that if I blink life will fly by in the midst of chaos. I now that in the middle of everything that we are waiting for SOMEDAY and I know that someday comes in the next breath.

I want to get my family back together. Get us in our home base and forget about all the SOMEDAYS and start living our todays. Every single day is a treasure and is full of wonder. And I guess I'm just ready to get my days back.