Hope...

I've been slowly but surly making my way through the boxes. The rooms are taking shape and things are getting better. This move seems to be stretching on FOREVER. I know it's because we are taking it a little slower than usual. But, it's getting there. We do really like our new home, though. It makes a LOT of difference in how we feel about things.

I was thinking yesterday how strange this whole thing has turned out. I remember several years ago just wanting Jamie to have a job with plenty of work and that treated him well, was steady and he enjoyed. And I got all those things. It had to be out in Salt Lake City, Utah of all places. He's doing so well here. The money is fantastic, the work is interesting and they love him. It's quite a change from wondering every day if you are going to lose another project and get laid off. Again.

He got this huge bonus at work. And we were sitting down figuring how much to put in savings and what we needed to spend. It was so funny to see how different and simple things have become for us. Two big ticket items, truck tires and a swing set. The rest were just simple things. Nothing flashy or fancy. Maybe an extra big Sam's Club trip and a new grill. It is NICE to look back and see how we've grown and changed.

The beginning years were so tough for us financially. We made a lot of mistakes and we paid for them. Jamie's jobs would come and go. We struggled waiting for him to pass his P.E. exam so he could move up. States ran out of money for projects but we always managed to find something else.

And now here we are. It's certainly not perfect but we are doing fairly well. And the baby. Unbelievable. A blessing. A miracle. Something we NEVER thought would happen and gave up on years ago. And yet here she is. Growing, kicking and developing into her own little person. No help from science. No pills, charts, shots, or timing involved. We are so blessed.

Nicholas is growing up. He's becoming a little man in his own right. Thriving out here in the desert. Developing his OWN interests without the influence of others. He's pretty amazing. Some days he seems so grown up and some days he's still my little boy. I love watching the relationship he and his Daddy are developing. Some days they are so grown up and some days they argue and pick on each other. They do stuff together and make plans that don't involve me. I am totally OK with that!

I'm just trying to appreciate each day as it comes. Appreciate what is good in it and let the bad go. Remembering those days when I would have done ANYTHING for Jamie to have this kind of opportunity. Wanting this kind of stability for our family. Nothing is ever perfect. We miss the east and our families. We're just making the best of each day as it comes right now. Looking forward to our future and loving each other and our life. Now that the weight of this move is lifting we're able to see things a lot more clearly. We're not caught up in the dread anymore. We're able to focus on just having a life again. It's just a priceless feeling. And dare I say it...there is HOPE again.

Now, if I could just get through the rest of these boxes!