Coincidence...luck? Just a weed?

Do you believe in coincidence? Do you think sometimes God knows you need an answer or a ray of hope and so he leaves a little message?

Anyway, back on the day Jamie and I got married (married for REAL), I went out to walk the dog. I was nervous. A little upset that things weren't going the way I had hoped and well, everyone is nervous when they are about to get married. I wanted it so badly. I could see our bright shining future together and I wanted it like nothing else. I was walking the dog, half-praying, half talking to myself. There was a green space in front of the townhouse where we weren't living together. It was always full of clover. It was early June. I was thinking it'd be nice to find a 4-leaf clover and then I'd know everything would be alright. I dropped the leash and when I went to pick it up I found a 4-leaf-clover. Didn't even look for it.

The question is did I find it because I was expecting it or was it there because I NEEDED to find it. Or was it just dumb luck.

So, today I'm out in the yard with the kids. Playing with Sarah, watching the dog, talking to Nicholas. I'm looking at the yard and planning gardens, flower gardens, fairy gardens with pebble paths and a little play cottage, veggie gardens. I'm looking at the weeds I need to pull and all the trimming that needs done to get this place ready for winter. I've been staring at the ground as we walk around. Noting the clover and such. I am thinking and half-praying again about how I want to stay in this house. How I want to settle down here and have this be our forever home. I want Sarah to grow up here for Nicholas to have a place to come to when he is grown. To make good memories. I think wouldn't it be nice to find another 4-leaf clover and then I'll know it's all going to work out. I am thinking all this as Sarah throws me a ball. I bend down pick it up and find a 4-leaf clover.

This is the only other one I've ever found since the day we got married. I'm always looking though. It's probably coincidence. I mean finally spotting one after 11 years is bound to happen sometime. But, it makes me feel good. We've been talking to the Realtor about buying this house and worrying over prices and loans and such. We've been worried about doing some things we want to it because if it doesn't work out, we'll lose whatever we've put in.

I think, though, that I'll take it as a good sign. A hopeful sign. I put the clover in the china cabinet. I had put that first one behind our marriage certificate in a frame. but sometime in 13 moves, the frame broke and I lost it.

Maybe I'm just superstitious. Or silly. Either way, I think it's a sign of good things to come.