Sarah's Story....

As you can see, she's come a LONG way!


I went for my regular Doctor visit on Thursday May 27. My blood pressure was up a good bit but came down after a rest. Nevertheless my doctor decided I should have an ultrasound and a non-stress test. Sarah looked perfect. But my blood pressure nagged at him. He decided I should do a 24-hour urine test and some blood work. The blood work came back with elevated liver counts and he put me in the hospital to monitor my BP and liver enzymes. My Mom flew in to take care of our son. I don't even like to think about what a last minute flight to Utah cost her. But I don't know what we would have done without her. My liver continued to elevate and then my platelets started dropping. They had given me steroid shots over Sunday and Monday and we were able to hold off starting an induction until Tuesday morning. 48 hours on the steroids made all the difference for our little one.

I started contracting around 2:00 on Tuesday but was able to stand them until around 7:30. They were going to start the Pitocin around then. Since I knew from Nicholas that Pitocin is the Devil, I asked for my epidural first! I'm no dummy! By 9:00 I was still only at 3 cm and I was a bit discouraged. Jamie and I watched a couple of movies prior to that (Romancing the Stone and Fools Gold in case you wondered). Then the TV started to irritate me. Sarah's heartbeat was doing wonky things so they had me lay on one side or the other perfectly still. At this point I had compression boots on my feet, an IV with several things in it, an epidural, a scalp monitor in Sarah's head, the belly monitors, a catheter taped to my leg, and an oxygen mask. I was starting to feel like I was drowning. I couldn't move my position and was really starting to freak out. I felt tied up and claustrophobic.

Jamie started to freak out watching the monitors for Sarah's heartbeat. He was panicking and we had to have "the patient is freaking out on me" nurse come in and talk to us. It didn't work so they turned the monitors so he couldn't see them. At this point I just started to pray that Sarah would just come quickly. 20 minutes later I'm telling Jamie I think I need checked and he needs to get the nurse NOW. She checks me and I'm fully dilated and effaced. She goes to call the doctor to come on to the hospital. I tell Jamie I really think he needs to get her again. Something isn't right. I ask her to check me again and she assures me the "baby was still pretty far up there." I insist and she pulls down the sheet to find, a head. Jamie turns ghost white the nurse runs out and yells for help NOW! My room is swarmed with nurses and NICU nurses. My doctor gets there just as Sarah is delivered. She cries and I am thankful.

I don't get to see her or touch her or anything. They whisk her to the table and start to stabilize her. Jamie and I already discussed that he was to go with them as I would be FINE. They hold her up on the way out the door and all I see is a hat and blanket. Jamie later tells me they RUN to the NICU. He watches them put the tubes in her and he cries. And when he tells me about it I cry.

My legs are still numb and I can't move them. The doctor and nurse finish with me and help me sit up. Jamie is still at NICU. All of the sudden I'm alone. I can't move my legs and I don't know what is happening to my baby. The nurse brings me some crackers and OJ. I'm sitting there watching HGTV eating crackers. Alone. I feel very disconnected. I don't feel like I had a baby. It's surreal. No one comes in and I watch Holmes on Holmes. The nurses pop popcorn and I can hear them laughing at the desk. Eventually Jamie and my Doctor come back in. I finally get news of Sarah and it's all good. My legs are still a little numb but as soon as I think I can walk, I'll get cleaned up and be able to go to the NICU.

I get the nurse to take out the epidural. She shows it to us and we both think it's a pretty nasty thing. The nurse tells me if I can pee I can get my IV out. So, I force myself to and it hurts like hell but who cares. I can't stand being tied up anymore. I've been being monitored for 3 days and confined to bed. I've had to be re-hooked up every time I've gotten up to go pee. I'm tired of the wires. I get in the shower deciding it would be the quickest and best way to clean up. I get a fresh gown and my ginormous hospital underwear and Jamie gives me a wheelchair ride to NICU.

She looks terrifying to me but they assure us she is doing surprisingly well. They expect her to be off the ventilator in a day or two. We can't touch her or hold her or anything but we're pretty thankful to see her. They explain all the monitors but I don't really remember any of it.

We find out later that my doctor has been haunting the NICU in the days prior giving them updates and making sure they will be ready for our Sarah. I developed HELLPS Syndrome Preeclampsia. The BP meds I had been on had been masking some of the symptoms. He was just trying to get us through the 48 hour window with the steroids for her lungs. When my platelets dropped again, we were done. Time to have a baby. I'm so thankful that my doctor is so thorough. My liver enzymes were doubling every day. Basically, my body was turning toxic. Within another 48 hours, Sarah and I would probably not have been here. Or Jamie would have been choosing one of us. Not something I would ever want him to do. It's something we talked about early on, it's just one of those things you talk about but it's not something you expect to really have to do. Thankfully my doctor is very very cautious!

There have actually been a few moments that were really funny during the whole thing. We've laughed about Jamie's face when the nurse pulled down the sheet. We've joked about all the things he's seen and done this past week. He's pretty much seen me at my worst.

And now we just wait for our baby girl to grow and come home. She's making amazing progress. She's completely off her oxygen, she's eating 19ml every three hours, I've given her a bath, changed her diapers, held her for a few feedings, comforted her when she is trying to sleep. I'm not staying in the NICU all the time. I'm being there for as much as I can to take care of her but I know I need to rest and get ready for her to come home. I'm pumping breast milk every three hours. It's one thing I can do that is best for her. It's work and it's hard being tied to a schedule but it's worth it. Jamie went and bought the mac-daddy pump so I'm set there. Our nurses are incredible. They are so sweet and understanding. They never make us feel in the way.

And so now, we wait.