Sometimes I think I spend WAY too much time waiting for things to be "just right." Just the right place, just the right house, just the right weight, just the right circumstances. I want things to fall into line the way I imagine they should be before I do something. Lose 10 more pounds before I buy anything pretty (why can't I have a pretty sweater now? It would make me feel good.) Don't organize the closets in this house, we might move at the end of our lease. (organizing the closets would be a bad thing, how? exactly) Wait until X is right before I try Y.
Waiting for the perfect circumstances just puts life on hold for the entire family. Things aren't going to be perfect. Not in the next week, the next month or the next year. It just isn't going to happen. And yes, maybe my circumstances are not what I want for my family. They just are what they are for right now. We shouldn't put living on hold because we are waiting. The things we hope for may never happen or may not happen for a couple years.
For example, when we were trying for a baby 5,6,7 years ago, we would hesitate to plan anything. Thinking that if we planned a vacation, we wouldn't be able to go because we'd be pregnant or have a newborn. When we moved out here last year we knew it was going to be temporary so we never DID anything to make friends. No Church, no neighborhood parties...what would be the point?
And so we sit here with vacations not taken and a baby who arrived when we never planned for her. We moved on with our lives, planned things, did things and guess what? She came along and we managed just fine. And here we sit in Utah without a friend in site. No Church to sooth us or encourage us. No friends to share a cup of coffee. I still hesitate. It's no secret I want to go back East. I have no idea if or when that will happen. Some day I suppose. I hope. I just don't know what to do in the mean time. I still hesitate to get involved. I feel like such an outsider!
Maybe with patience and without trying, it will all fall into place some day. In the mean time, I'll just go on one day at a time and make each one the best that I can.
It's difficult, as an adult, to adjust to a new environment and make friends. Is there a homeschool organization there? Or perhaps a "Mom's" group advertized at the pediatrician's office? Those are both good ways to meet people who are at your same station of life.
ReplyDelete